Life is hard

Life is hard.

Everyone says it. You hear it everywhere. All the time. It must be true. A given. Right?

It's not.

Life is not hard. Life happens whether you want it to or not. And life does what it wants - not what you want, particularly.

You are given this life. It is truly the ultimate gift in this world. Do not take advantage of it. It WILL take care of you in the way you need to be taken care of. Keep in mind, this may be different from how you feel you should be taken care of. You will be dealt challenges. You will encounter obstacles. Life creates the real you by altering your thinking via these obstacles and challenges. And every issue you come through is a gold medal around your neck.

To me, the most interesting part of this process is that most people who are in the middle of a life changing event, don't really seem to realize the effect. They're not stressed out about it. They simply do what needs to be done. Once they've made it through, they are a slightly different, more enlightened person. It's an amazing process. I've dabbled in it a little myself (drug rehab in my teens) but the most prominent instances to me were with my sisters. Katie, having had ovarian cancer twice and complications associated with that; Lee, with her own drug issues and severe headaches since she was young; and Kami with extreme obstacles that I won't go into for personal reasons. Each one a life or death possibility. It changes you. It changes those who love you. And provided you make it through the other side and you're still here, there is an impact on your psyche - an understanding of just how precious this life is. It's a gratefulness that many take for granted. I do not.

Life is life. It is not hard. Nor is it easy. It just is. I am thankful for every day I am able to be here to witness it. For one day, my light will pass from this world and I will be on to the next life. The next phase of my life, if you will. And all of this will be a fleeting memory. Live in the moment and you'll never regret a thing. This moment is all you have. Take care.

Life is good.

Happy Birthday, Katie!

Katie,

 

I remember when you were born. Heck, I think most of the neighborhood remembers. Our naturalist mother had you at home sans epidural. I think everyone within a 2 mile radius heard her when you came out! And with three girls already, I think it was fate that you also came out a girl. I guess dad had something to do with that, though I don't believe it was a conscious decision with any real effort.

 

Me and Kami and Lee were anticipating the new toy. I remember Kami used to spend hours dressing you up and playing with you like you were her own personal living, breathing doll. As the oldest, my role was more responsible. Like the second mom when mom wasn't available. Lee wasn't sure about you at first but I think she came around eventually. You were a cute little thing!

 

After all of the trials and tribulations you've had with ovarian cancer - twice! - and the personal issues you've endured since then, I am amazed at how strong you are as a person. I admire you for where you've been and how you've grown from the experiences. And I am so happy for you for where you are now in your life. You are a wonderful person and a great friend. I love you, Beep!

 

Love,
Sus

A brain at rest...

I like to use different events in my life as experiments. Like when I was running a lot (over 30 miles per week), it was an experiment to see how my body would react to it as well as trying different things like diet and stretching to see how I could make it possible without injury. Well, my lack of coordination typically got the better of me, and, while I was successful avoiding injuries from running, I was not successful avoiding injuries from falling. I believe they call that a successful failure.

So, when I found myself unemployed, I decided to do as little computer work as possible. I thought about brushing up on some aspects, but I decided against it. I wanted to take a complete hiatus from it. I didn't really know if this would help or hinder me in my job pursuit, but ultimately I decided it wouldn't do me much harm, if any. Besides, it's an extremely rare opportunity to be able to fully rest your mind, body and soul for any amount of time.

My job as a network admin requires constant learning and research, but in day-to-day life, one rarely needs to learn new things. I found an interesting side effect of my mental hiatus - when I stop having to learn, I stop wanting to learn. After a couple weeks, I became mentally lethargic. I almost thought I was depressed. I wasn't. And I wasn't bored either. I was, for lack of a better word, uninspired. I wanted to really take a break and, wow, did I?! I've been working for over 20 years and I wanted to take advantage of my situation. It was so nice having the majority of the summer free. I believe it was really good for me. But, the mental melancholy was unexpected. I didn't even want to write on my blog! I thought I wanted to a couple of times and I did post a couple of random things but it wasn't anything I would call thoughtful.

So, now, I'm back working and I feel refreshed. My brain is coming back to life. Work must be my muse. Or at least, the action of working is keeping my other mental faculties moving as well. Whatever the technical conclusion, I see what happens. I felt what happens. I  believe it was neither bad nor good. It just was. Experiment over.

Wherever you go, there you are

I believe wholeheartedly in the theory that everything happens for a reason and that you are always right where you are supposed to be. Fate. Destiny. Karma. I believe that I am ultimately in control of my actions and decisions, however, I also rely very heavily on my gut instinct. I've found that the more I pay attention to that gut feeling, the more I'm able to tell what action or decision is the right one for me. It hasn't let me down yet, as far as I can tell.

When I lost/left my job at the end of July, I was absolutely devastated. I was also hopeful and optimistic. The universe had a different plan for me and I had to find out what that was. I was lucky that the IT skills I have are in enough of a demand that there were many businesses looking for someone like me. For two months, I put in applications at every company that appealed to me. I would have been happy with any of them, I'm sure, but my real "whale" was Precision Castparts. The culture of manufacturing is in my blood so I was drawn to it. And, after three interviews over a month's time, that's the job I took.

I couldn't be happier. I knew I would come out of this in a positive light, but I didn't expect this. How random is it that they just happened to be looking for a Network Admin at the same time I was unemployed? It might have been random. Or it might have been my destiny. Everything happens for a reason. Believe it.