God

Really, Sus, you’re going THERE? Well, why not? With the exception of Atheists and Agnostics, we all believe in some kind of Higher Power. What that entity is called is determined by the particular faith or sect or religious order you decide to live by. Having been baptized Methodist, that’s what I lived by for most of my childhood. But, like many organized groups, this particular church turned into a social event where the “better” of the congregation would judge and patronize those who were not of high enough status. My mom stopped going and eventually, so did I. I continued in the kids’ activities but not the actual sermons. Funny how the kids were less clique-y than the adults. By the time I got to high-school, I stopped going altogether.

A bit later in my life I decided to look at the different beliefs. In the Christian religions, I found way too much rigidity; too much intolerance for other religions. I’m not comfortable with that. Then I looked at Buddhism – the Japanese side of my heritage. I liked it a lot, and found solace in the research I did on it. And I love the story of the Buddha. I also looked at Confucianism, finding that I was drawn to the philosophical teachings. I was so close, but it wasn’t quite right for me yet.

I believe in “live and let live”.  I believe in tolerance. I believe in nature and naturalness. Simplicity. Balance. Yin and yang.

The first time I read the Tao Te Ching, I couldn’t put it down. It was so prophetic to me, so profound. I’ve read [parts of] the Bible and it didn’t capture me at all. The stories were neat, but it wasn’t insightful like this. It didn’t touch my core like this did.

68.

Compassion is the finest weapon and best defense.

If you would establish harmony,

Compassion must surround you like a fortress.

Therefore,

A good soldier does not inspire fear;
A good fighter does not display aggression;
A good conqueror does not engage in battle;
A good leader does not exercise authority.

This is the value of unimportance;

This is how to win the cooperation of others;
This to how to build the same harmony that is in nature.

Comments

Hi Readers! I found that I can allow Anonymous comments, so now you can post comments even if you don't have a Google Plus or other account. Sorry I didn't find this sooner. So, please feel free to leave comments if you'd like! Thanks!

Just do it

Every single day is a new day to every single person alive. I have never been at this point in my life before. You have never been at this point in your life before. I may have been your age once; you may have gone through some of the same events and circumstances that I have; but none of us has ever been where each of us are right now. Everything we do from this second on has the potential to reshape our life.

When people talk about how life can change in an instant, they’re usually referring to an unforeseen incident – a car accident, a severe illness, a job loss – things over which no one has control. So, if something out of our control can change our lives, why can’t we knowingly change our thoughts and actions to change our lives as well? We can. But rarely does one think to do it. We get so wrapped up in what we’re doing that nothing else comes to mind.

Ten years ago when I started running, I didn’t have any idea where to start or what to do. So I just went out and did it. My only thought was, “The sooner I start, the sooner I’ll be where I want to be.” At that time, it was a healthier weight I was after, but it took me farther than that emotionally and even spiritually. Besides going to school and deciding which classes to take and direction to head, this was the first personal decision I’d ever made. I’d never done anything just out of the blue like that. So what, that I’d never ran before. So what, that I wasn’t known as a morning person. So what, that I didn’t have the physique or grace of an athlete. The only thing that mattered is that I wanted to try out this running thing. The worst that could happen is that I’d hate it and I’d stop.

I remember that first week clear as day. I felt so uncomfortable, so exposed out in public. But I did it anyway. I knew that the only way I would feel comfortable is to keep doing it. It was about a half-mile around the block (“around the block” was around the local hospital so it was a large block), and I partly walked and partly ran twice around it every day that first week. I saw the neighbor leave for work. He waved and I waved back. I would have bet money he thought I looked ridiculous. Never mind, not my business – keep going. The second week was more the same and by the third week I was going around the block three times and running a bit more. I saw the neighbor off and on in that time and would always exchange a smile and wave. Then one time he hollered to me “Lookin’ good!” as I jogged past. Later I saw him and his wife and she said that was so great of me getting up and running in the morning. And he said he ran in high school, but hated it now and was impressed that I could do it. I’m so glad I didn’t listen to that inner demon of mine worried about what anyone else thought. As it turned out, my fears were completely unfounded.

I still don’t have the physique of a runner and I’m not anything close to graceful (I have scars to prove it) but now when I run, regardless of where I am in my training, I don’t think about what others see. It’s none of my business what anyone thinks of me. I could be coming off of an injury limping along, I could be in full stride, but whatever my gait, it’s mine. And I managed to get here myself.

Never give up. Never give in. If you want to do it, do it.

Public Water Fountains

A man is in the park playing fetch with his Golden Retriever on a warm spring day. It's one of the first nice days of the season so there are several other people are in the park as well. He walks over to the drinking fountain and holds the button on while his dog perches his front paws on the side of the basin and starts lapping at the cool water.

A woman walking by is outraged and says, "That is NOT sanitary! Other PEOPLE are going to want to drink out of that fountain!"

"Well, ma'am," he replied, "I saw a homeless guy washing his underwear in it earlier, so..."

Rain, rain, go away, come again another day...

We have to love the rain. It's a requirement for anyone living in the Pacific Northwest. Or, as I like to call it, the Pacific NorthWET. Ok, it's not really a requirement to love the rain; and sometimes it gets downright irritating; depressing; mentally dampening even. But, we wouldn't know what to do with ourselves without it. Seriously. Yes, there are some people who truly don't belong here and move away to warmer, sunnier climates and never look back, but personally, I don't think I could do that.

A friend of mine was telling me about a girlfriend she had who had lived in Portland all her life - born and raised a true Oregonian. She ended up moving to Arizona and returned less than a year later. Her biggest gripe? "Every single day - blue sky and sunshine! Every single stinkin' day!"

Think about it - sunshine EVERY day. No rainy days to cozy-up on the couch and watch a movie or read a book. No cool, overcast days. Watering the lawn and outdoor plants would become a daily, year-round chore. No excuse to not wash your car. And the streets and sidewalks would get increasingly dirty and dusty with no cleansing rain.

I believe in moderation for everything, and here on the 45th parallel, we get a little bit of everything. Maybe a little more than our fair share of rain, but that's also why the tourists' first comment is usually, "It's so green and beautiful here!"

Life’s ultimate journey

One year ago today, May 13th, I had the opportunity to be present when my mother-in-law took her final journey from this life. She had been suffering for many years with asthma, emphysema and COPD so it was very bittersweet. Selfishly, we always hoped for her to get better, but we all knew the reality of the situation and at the end, our hopes turned to a peaceful passage. Our prayers were answered and she slipped away quietly with family by her side. Afterwards, I was overwhelmed with grief and sadness. As time goes on, I find that I miss her more and more. But I also find that I am even more relieved for her to be free of the constraints she was living in.

During my childhood, all four of my grandparents passed away. I was old enough to understand death, but young enough that I was ignorant of the emotions that go along with losing someone. I knew living things died and that was a part of life. And afterwards you did whatever you felt was right to honor that person and their memory. I am well aware that my logical-emotional scale veers to the left, but that does not make passing on a less traumatic experience for me than for someone else. It may look like it on the outside, but that’s far from the truth. We each truly do mourn in different ways.

I was as close to my mother-in-law as I am to my own mother and losing her was a very painful experience. But it was also an eye-opening experience. I believe now that life truly is a journey. Even after death, one is still on their journey. If I were to imagine the progression of this odyssey, as I see it, I would guess that where you and I are now - in this life, on this planet – is the most challenging. This physical life can be as full of pain as it is of pleasure. Sensory overload is a common occurrence. The next step of the journey allows us to leave that chaos behind. Now, the “chaos” isn’t a bad thing, mind you. It simply is the way this life is. We are in a physical world. We learn strength and courage and stamina and tolerance from every challenge we face here. And when our time comes, having learned these lessons, we’ll be ready for that next step.

I love you, mom. Enjoy your continuing journey.

Happy Mother's Day!

Mom!   Mom!   Mom!   Mom!   Mom!   Mom!   Ma-maaaaa!   Maaa!   Mom!   Mom!   Mom!   Mommy!   Mom!   Mom!   Mom!   Moooooommm!   Mom!   Mom!   Mom!

Did you ever imagine such a sweet little bundle could push all of your buttons at the same time? My mother, bless her heart, tolerated four of us. I think there must be a touch of mental instability on her side of the family! Seriously, if there wasn’t before, I’m sure we’ve nearly driven her to it by now!

Now, I could regale you with the stories of what a wonderful mom she was when I was growing up, and how she always supported each of us and helped us expand on our talents as well as embrace our shortfalls. Which both she and dad did. We’re all familiar with the Best Mom In The World stories already - as the kids text: BTDT – so I’d like to change it up a little and share the Fastest Mom In The World story.

Preface: Mom, there may be some inaccuracies in my memory of the little details and I may have embellished a tad to make up for that.

Summers at our house were always lively. Kids in and out, friends visiting, bike rides, music, games - any and every child’s and kid’s activity was to be found. In the early 80’s, it was full swing in our neighborhood. Kids ranging in age from 2 to 15, the street was full of kids playing basketball, roller staking, skateboarding or just sitting around watching the action. Mom and I were on the porch having a snack of Wheat Thins or maybe it was Triscuits, when a challenge broke out. Maybe it was more like a dare. But all I know is that I had the box of crackers and I bet mom that she couldn’t catch me. She said, “I bet you I can.” And I took off. Down the porch stairs, across the street and down the sidewalk I flew. “There is NO WAY she’s gonna catch me!” I thought. Not a moment later something grabbed my shirt. I was sure it was one of my sisters messing with me. I glanced back - wrong! Mom was panting and laughing like crazy as we came to a stop. I was just plain dumbfounded. Shocked, really. I had never seen my mom run before. I didn't think she could! But then I started laughing too. My sisters as well as my mom gave me crap about that for as long as I can remember.

Kids: Never – ever - underestimate mom.

Wishing a wonderful Mother’s Day to all of you wonderful mom’s out there!

Drop it like a bad habit

That saying is ridiculous. It implies that a bad habit is an easy thing to “drop”. Truth is, that’s the toughest type of habit to drop. Have you ever heard of someone having a difficult time quitting going to the gym? Or quitting avoiding fast food or sweets? Yeah, me neither.

I quit smoking just over 10 years ago. I smoked for 20 years. Please don’t do the math. I was the type of smoker who loved to smoke. When people asked me where I saw myself in 20 years, I’d describe something akin to the old lady you see on the bus trailing her green portable iron lung on wheels behind her. I was going to die from smoking and I knew it. And I was fine with it. But at age 32, something clicked in my brain. I wish I knew what it was so I could share it, but I honestly have no idea. Maybe it was mortality. Maybe it was legacy. I always knew that if I ever did decide to quit, it would have to be for me. It would be the most selfish thing I’d ever done. I’ve never been comfortable with that but this particular need launched me into a mission that I was more dedicated to than a dog trying to catch a squirrel.

I spent day after day researching how other people quit. Successfully and unsuccessfully. I needed to know everything including what made a person go back to it and why.

My husband and I decided to quit on the same day. He went cold-turkey. Successfully. I wasn’t the cold-turkey type so a month before our decided quit date, I gradually cut down each week until I was down to 10 cigarettes a day. That was like nothing to me but at the time it was everything to me. It was all I had left. And I knew that was the stopping point. Our quit date was a Sunday.  I vaguely remember the morning. I distinctly remember crying. Five hours straight I cried. I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t reason with myself. There was nothing my husband could do; there was nothing my parents could do. They all witnessed my unraveling that day. I’m sure it wasn’t pretty. But my mental resolve stood strong. No matter how it affected me, I was NOT going to have a cigarette. But, how could I go to work tomorrow? I can’t be crying at work!

I don’t know how I got through the night, but the next morning, on my way to work, I went to the store and bought the nicotine gum. At that time they didn’t have all the flavors they have now, but that’s what I needed, the utilitarian-ness of it. I wasn’t buying it because it was a tasty treat. I was buying it because it promised to curb the withdrawal symptoms. Directions: Don’t continually chew it. Chew a couple times to release the nicotine then hold it between your cheek and gum. It tasted kind of peppery under the mint flavoring. I didn’t like pepper. That didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that it helped. The rest of that day and every day after was a breeze. I was able to relax. To me, the worst thing at this point was that I had to chew this weird tasting gum the rest of my life and I was ok with that. It was cheaper than cigarettes. And it wouldn’t kill me. Nicotine itself isn’t harmful; tobacco and tobacco smoke are. I quickly began to tolerate, and then like, the flavor of the gum. And after two months I tapered off of the gum and I’ve been nicotine-free ever since.

They say that quitting smoking is more difficult than quitting heroin.  It’s THAT addictive. Whoever “they” are, they’re not kidding. It was the single most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life. It’s also the biggest accomplishment I’ve ever made.

We all know the horrible ramifications of smoking and tobacco use. We’ve seen the commercials of the woman smoking through the hole in her throat or the guy who lost half of his jaw. But this drug is so powerful that there are still over 45 million people in the US who smoke and over 400,000 of them die every year because of it. It’s the #1 cause of preventable death in the United States.  If that’s not addicting, I don’t know what is.