Monday, May 13, 2013

Life’s ultimate journey


One year ago today, May 13th, I had the opportunity to be present when my mother-in-law took her final journey from this life. She had been suffering for many years with asthma, emphysema and COPD so it was very bittersweet. Selfishly, we always hoped for her to get better, but we all knew the reality of the situation and at the end, our hopes turned to a peaceful passage. Our prayers were answered and she slipped away quietly with family by her side. Afterwards, I was overwhelmed with grief and sadness. As time goes on, I find that I miss her more and more. But I also find that I am even more relieved for her to be free of the constraints she was living in.

During my childhood, all four of my grandparents passed away. I was old enough to understand death, but young enough that I was ignorant of the emotions that go along with losing someone. I knew living things died and that was a part of life. And afterwards you did whatever you felt was right to honor that person and their memory. I am well aware that my logical-emotional scale veers to the left, but that does not make passing on a less traumatic experience for me than for someone else. It may look like it on the outside, but that’s far from the truth. We each truly do mourn in different ways.

I was as close to my mother-in-law as I am to my own mother and losing her was a very painful experience. But it was also an eye-opening experience. I believe now that life truly is a journey. Even after death, one is still on their journey. If I were to imagine the progression of this odyssey, as I see it, I would guess that where you and I are now - in this life, on this planet – is the most challenging. This physical life can be as full of pain as it is of pleasure. Sensory overload is a common occurrence. The next step of the journey allows us to leave that chaos behind. Now, the “chaos” isn’t a bad thing, mind you. It simply is the way this life is. We are in a physical world. We learn strength and courage and stamina and tolerance from every challenge we face here. And when our time comes, having learned these lessons, we’ll be ready for that next step.

I love you, mom. Enjoy your continuing journey.

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