Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Social media - My unexpected muse


Facebook is a wonderful thing. It's full of family pictures, adorable cat videos, shared memes, and the work and life status of all of our friends and family. It’s the latter that I find most interesting. Personally, I have struggled many times in my life to find that holy grail of our Earthy existence – happiness. And from updates I read of friends and family on Facebook, I’m not the only one. Ok, I knew that. If it were an easy find, we’d all be there, right? The part I find interesting is just how wishy-washy we really are. Or maybe that's just me.

I’ve spent a good amount of time over the years searching and researching the key(s) to happiness. Those of you who have read my blog know that I’ve come to a couple of theoretic conclusions but the most prominent one is that happiness lies within ourselves and is generated by gratefulness. It is our attitude that takes us to either the positive or the negative. One cannot be truly happy if they are continually searching for what is out of reach. Financially, I will never be a millionaire, but I’ve pushed myself in life to a good career so I have what I need. Physically, I will never be an Olympic athlete nor will I ever look like a supermodel, but I can cook and eat healthy foods (maybe splurge on the occasional rack of ribs!) and get exercise by walking or running to stay healthy. Spiritually, I will never be as enlightened as the Dalai Lama, but I can meditate on the writings of a myriad of spiritual leaders and embrace the peace gleaned there.

I know these things. I’ve felt these things. I’ve used myself as an experiment in this manner and succeeded in happiness. Yet, I fell back. The past few months have been stressful, granted. I don’t like to use stress as an excuse for lack of consciousness but, in my experience, that’s exactly what happens. I get stressed out, I react. By reacting, I’m not being conscious of the big picture and I’m not mentally here, in this moment. I’m pressed for time because I’m at work late and can’t get to the store or the pharmacy in time. I’m annoyed at the construction blunders in our apartment complex causing it to be drawn out longer and keeping our apartment in complete shambles. I need to buy a wedding dress. This one is a two-fold frustration: 1) Trying on wedding dresses, for me, ranks right up there with trying on jeans or bras for most women. There better be cocktails available! 2) Cost. I don’t believe I need to elaborate on that one. And now, the Yukon is in the shop for a week. Enough said there. And work is work. I love my job but it is stressful. Ironically, that’s part of what I like about it, but that’s an entirely separate blog post about my own neuroses. There are several other issues, but you get the picture. I’m not really in my ideal element right now. This is the wishy-washy part. How could I have done all that work to consistently be conscious yet fall off so easily?

And the interesting part is that I’ve become conscious again because of Facebook. There are so many different perspectives and histories and attitudes it makes it easy to see several sides of a story.

For the last couple months, I’ve been reading people’s status posts and oftentimes thinking, “Wow, the drama.” Or “Why would you post something like that?” You know the type. But recently I realized that it doesn’t matter what people put out there - most posts are either depressing or exuberant. Some are in between, but what I noticed is that most of the happy or sad posts were a reaction. Of course! Well, duh! If you win $50 on Keno, great! If you get in a car accident, mega-bummer! This is how we instinctively think. But if you are truly grateful and truly happy, there is no negative. Period. As the saying goes - There is a reason for everything, though we may not know that reason, now or ever. For me personally, I’ve found that I’m spending way too much time reacting to things I have no control over. And when I stress myself out like that, it affects my mood which affects my health – physically and mentally. And in the end, that’s all we have.

So, today, I’m choosing to be more conscious. I’ve done it before, so I know I’m able. Success is a series of failures. Maybe the Yukon will see 400,000 miles because of this fix. Maybe the apartment complex construction will result in a more serene, comfortable place to live. Maybe I’ll get a raise at work for my efforts. Maybe I’ll find that perfect dress for a decent price. It’s all in the attitude. The perspective. Nothing in life needs to be negative. Nothing.
 
Namaste, my Facebook friends!

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